Day 41: Sometimes I Think I’d Like To Watch It Burn

4,000 things gone, still 6,000 to go

…it smells of cheap wine and cigarettes/this place is always such a mess/sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn

-Jakob Dylan (One Headlight)

I’m no rock star – but minus the smell of cheap wine and cigarettes, I know exactly how Jakob Dylan feels here. Exactly.

After a clutter free weekend away, I came home to face my decluttering project with fresh eyes and renewed enthusiasm. That wore off pretty quickly.

We got in late last night and, after tucking the kids in, I decided to put the six bags and three boxes I collected for the Developmental Disabilities Association out on the porch for today’s pick-up, feeling more than a little proud of myself for being ahead of the game.

I realized this morning that the pick-up is next Monday. Squirrel said I should put the stuff back in the garage right away because the house looked like a “dump site.”

But the spot for my car has been getting narrower and narrower lately due to Squirrel’s bike stand, the mound of stuff he piled in a corner after he cleaned the garage, and my mountain of DDA donations.

So, I decided to tackle Squirrel’s mound of stuff. How bad could it be?

Only a rock star with an addiction problem could know.

There were five baby gates, one 7′ long piece of plywood, a trike, a push handle that doesn’t belong to the trike, two sleds, one pair of ski poles, a sunshade tent, two old car seats, one old stroller, a fireplace gate, two plastic step stools, pieces from a car top rack, two framed posters with broken glass (because I ran into them with the car), a wire frame reindeer with a detached head, 3 candlesticks, 6 cardboard boxes, a child’s broken moped, a dirty tarp, an old set of golf clubs, and two spears that, for a reason I will never understand, hung in the laundry room in our old house.

If you do the math – that’s only 36 things. And they were all covered in spider webs, dirt and dust.

I laid out the baby gates and fireplace gate on the driveway wiped them down, hosed them off and laid them against the garage door to dry. I repeated the process with the tarp, tent and step stools. I made a garbage pile, a donate later pile, and collapsed the cardboard boxes for recycling. I reattached a reindeer head and loaded everything I could into my car to drop off at the thrift store.

Then I found this box:

It was full of this:

I don’t even ask anymore.

By now it was time to pick-up my oldest son from bike camp.

I made a quick stop at the thrift store only to find out that they aren’t accepting donations after 1pm in the summer. I tried to ignore the sign requesting no donations be left outside the Church door. But, in the end, I just couldn’t do it.

I loaded the baby gates back into the car and, later, just managed to squeeze my son and all his bike gear in as well. Lucky!

Driving home, I was aware of the fact that I had collected less than half of the day’s 100 things and actually disposed of none.

I sincerely hoped that through some act of karmic intervention (because I hadn’t littered at the Church perhaps) 54 things would up and leave my house of their own free will while I was out with friends tonight.

No such luck, but as I was rushing out the door 15 minutes late to meet my girlfriends, Squirrel reminded me to empty the donations out of the car when I got home so we could take our oldest to bike camp in the morning.

Where’s that cheap wine?

What I tossed today: Absolutely nothing, but not for lack of trying

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4 thoughts on “Day 41: Sometimes I Think I’d Like To Watch It Burn

  1. I discovered your blog a week ago and read through all the archives in a single sitting.

    You inspired me to throw away…. 66 things over the space of that week. You make it look so easy!

    Good luck with your remaining 6000 things. I’m rootin’ for you.

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