Resist the Newfangled…

53 days to moving day, $53 raised for your charities (coincidence?)

I was tossing this new mascara in the garbage today:

when it occurred to me that I haven’t come very far in the experimental purchasing department. You know those things you buy in a pinch when the store is out of your favourite brand or you think perhaps they have indeed designed a better wheel.

I am a persnickety consumer – thank goodness, really – or we’d be in a lot more debt than we are now. Still, I do find myself reaching for a newfangled thingamabobber on occasion.

(image source)

I realize that last statement makes me sound like I’m 80 years old.  I’m only halfway there, but there are a few things that I’ve learned in my forty years about what to resist.

1) Never buy anything that is an improvement on what already works for you. You will always be disappointed.

2) Never buy the next closest thing to what you really want.

3) Never buy an exercise gadget.

4) Never buy something for your child that they just saw on TV.

5) Never buy anything that requires more maintenance than you are willing to provide for it.

6) Never buy a brand new home or a brand new car. Let someone work out the kinks and absorb the depreciation for you.

7) And never, ever, ever buy this:

unless, of course, you are:

A) living in a dorm

B) courting a hippie

C) experimenting with drugs, or

D) all of the above

And if any of the above apply to you –  nothing I write will make any sense to your for fifteen or more years.

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22 thoughts on “Resist the Newfangled…

  1. A new age humidifier? Did I get it right?! 😉

    And I completely agree! I once cried and whined for weeks (and apparently to this day) when I received a CD player for Xmas. I was happy with my cassette player, thankyouverymuch! I swear, I was born at 80!

    • You got it right Megyn! What I really, really wanted was an aromatherapy diffuser which was $100, so I got this for a bargain at $40. Hence, my rule about not buying the next best thing. I completely understand your reluctance to part with your cassette player. I still dial numbers on my phone. I find the process soothing to my 80 year old soul.

  2. A new age humidifier?
    Yesterday i was in a small town(pop 1000 in Australia)
    I’ve seen them in one shop.
    Who would need?
    thanks for the laugh.
    Wimmera

  3. I’ve seen that bue thing before…never sure what it was, though! Wow! $53 toward my charity…love it…keep up the good work!!! When is draw day again???

  4. You are wise beyond your years. I would also add “Beware purchasing anything you think will make you seem cooler, especially if you’re trying to seem cooler to people who have no remote interest in you.” Every now and then I fall prey to this one…

    • It’s been a few years since I’ve wanted to be cool for cool’s sake, but I do fight the urge to be a “cool Mom” or a “cool writer” neither of which are of any interest to anyone. Ha ha ha ha! I should just save my money.

  5. hmmmmmm I guess I should have read this before I bought the new car – but I’m ok with being that someone else who works out all the kinks! Thanks for the laugh! 😀

  6. LOL that ultrasonic mister is hilarious!

    I totally agree with your suggestion never to buy the “next closest thing” to what you want. My mom has never let herself have what she really wants. She’ll end up buying something cheaper, discovering that she doesn’t like it and it wasn’t what she really wanted.

    Then she ends up hoarding the object and complaining how little money she and my dad have (bull****!) and how she can never have what she wants. It’s not a way I want to be. I’d rather get what I really want, or not get it at all!

  7. Loved this post! And I absolutely agree with #3: Never buy a piece of exercise equipment.

    Every time I’ve bought a piece of exercise equipment, I’ve ended up burning more calories trying to get the thing OUT of the house than I ever did using it. 😉

    • Too true Becky! I just listed my mini trampoline on craigslist yesterday. The various things we’ve hauled out of here include: a giant weightlifting gym, a recumbent bike, a pilates reformer, and now the mini tramp. We’re actually saving money by going to the gym now.

  8. Just picked up the iPad2 on Aeroplan points and so glad we are test driving it without just buying the new one. I think the original iPad would have been fine! Thanks, as always, for the laugh.

  9. Duuuude, that’s sooo now.

    Can it, like, make my indoors smell outdoors, cause most of my indoors has been there waaay toooo long. Do you know what November’s pizza smells like???

    You’re like two of me, both wiseness-wise and calendar-wise. Because of this blog I’m gonna make my space like my mind and get it decluttered… Thx

    • I like the way you think Bob or boB. Wish my mind was as decluttered as my space! The blue mystery machine doesn’t make the space smell much better but it generates enough mist to hide November’s pizza from sight. I’m listing mine on craigslist if you need one. 🙂

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