Less (Botox) Is More

If you’re angry and you know it, start a blog.

I don’t think it’s a secret that I started this blog, at least in part, because I was mad at Squirrel. Finding stash after stash, day after day, month after month, made me want to chew my leg off. You have no idea how much relief sharing that frustration has given me.

Yesterday, I had the misfortune of reading a blog post that purported to give advice to women on how to lead their lives. As I got deeper and deeper into it, once again, I felt tempted to put tooth to leg.

While I feel obligated not to share the advice publicly, suffice it to say that both getting botox and homeschooling are on the author’s must do checklist for female success – along with other useful tips like “start looking for a husband early” and “do a startup with a guy.”

I chewed on that advice all afternoon and all the way to school pick-up where I unloaded on my friend Abbie.

Abbie has a low tolerance for bullshit:

“I don’t know when you’d find the time to get Botox if you’re homeschooling,” she commented.

Yeah, she’s pretty cool.

I think it comes down to this: how do you define success? And, perhaps more subjectively, how do you define beauty?

If you ask me, one expression doesn’t fit all.

Who are your favourite “botox free” female success stories? Here are just a few of mine.

Juliette Binoche

Heidi Klum

Tina Fey

Julianne Moore

Dealing With Difficult People

(image source: emdot)

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, as in when is it OK to end a relationship that is no longer fulfilling.

And, does that change when it’s family?

The other night, my father-in-law told me my butt is flat.

Squirrel told me not to take it personally which struck me as funny because it hadn’t even occurred to me to take it personally. I was too busy trying to figure out how someone drops “your butt is flat” into casual conversation.

He said it so matter-of-factly – as though he was commenting on the weather or the football score.

I tried to remember a time when I gave his butt any thought, but nothing came to me.

I wondered whether there was a deeper message here. Was he reflecting back to me a part of myself I hadn’t completely accepted?

Then, I remembered a quote I once read – the only quote on dealing with difficult people that ever made sense to me:

I am thankful for the difficult people in my life.  They have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.

-unknown

So, I’ve taken his comment as a sign of sorts, to let go of judgement and vanity and focus on creating a fuller, rounder, more pert inner life.

He probably won’t notice that at the next family gathering, but at least I’ll have something to be thankful for.

How do you deal with difficult relationships?

Clutter and Depression

I’m writing a serious post today because I think it’s really important to put it out there that – sometimes there are way more important things than decluttering.

We moved 4 1/2 years ago when I was pregnant with my second son.  It has taken me a long time to get back to normal again physically and emotionally.

I experienced depression with both my pregnancies but more seriously after my second son was born.  I would/could not have taken on anything extra even as recently as a year ago.

So if you’re wandering around, as I was, thinking:  “Look at all the normal people doing normal things.”

Take care of yourself before you take care of the house.

I know people have strong opinions on this, but the things that have worked for me individually or in combination are: medication, information (I found Dr. Amen’s Change Your Brain, Change Your Life helpful), talk therapy and yoga.

And, if you’re not getting any sleep, put down that recycling box, put on Baby Einstein, and get yourself back to bed.

Your clutter will wait.  Mine waited 4 years.